The ME/CFS Society of NSW Inc.

by Jana Fleming

How easy it is to listen but how hard it is to hear.

How often do we miss hearing what we need to, just because we don’t know how to listen? I know I have, often. Much of my illness has been about learning how to listen. Listen to my body, my mind, my spirit and most of all myself. How often did you miss hearing what ‘you’ were actually saying because the noise around you was so much louder? That noise might be family, friends, doctors, all with valid things to say but if all you hear is them then what about you? What about your voice?

To survive this illness we learn to listen so vehemently to our bodies to know when they needs what, so as to avoid a symptom or crash that you know you would otherwise develop. There were many times that I adamantly declared my need for a particular food only to find out later I was
very low in a vitamin that that food was very high in. If we can listen to our bodies why is it then such a jump to listen with the same vigour to our own inner selves? What do I mean by inner selves? I mean that thing that is you in your purest form, without the nonsense and fear which we get fed and confused with during this journey.

It’s important to remember that we all take a while to adjust to the rude awakening and steep learning curve that illness is. The lack of control on their reality can shatter a lot of people’s confidence in themselves and life. This whole new world of information you didn’t know, that suddenly becomes so vital to your very existence, can cause you to feel inadequate, so in your best interest you hand your care over to someone who knows better. But there comes a point when you have enough information and knowledge of your illness to begin to take back the reins.

The only way I found to survive CFS was to become a conductor. You respect and hear all the different noises but you interpret and direct them because only you can hear the overall song. This means taking full responsibility for your life and your health and deciding what’s right for you.

Why is it so important to hear yourself? Because it’ll let you discern, know the answers you need and allow you to live by your own truth. Will I be well? You reach into yourself with no fear and forget your diagnosis and your prognosis and you tell me! Because when we are quiet and calm, the answers are there. And that is how you listen. So that when you question: was that song that came on the radio at exactly the right moment to tell you what you needed to hear right then, a coincidence? Or was it the answer to a prayer or a hope? You decide.